|
[01 Feb 2012|06:49pm] |
When I stare at the keys I think of 50, 60 different things at one time. You stare at it and you may see wood, ivory and perhaps some images of musicianship. I see that too, when I'm not thinking about the music.
Upfront and next to potential, I see notes, harmonies, single chords, sounds before they are played, sounds played at loud volumes, soft, their interpretations, their emotions, styles, accents, possible accompaniments from other instruments, a setting, a theme... I'm looking out for keys which I've not yet pressed and considering how well they sound next to what the rhythm's currently holding.. and I'm mixing and matching different combinations in an instant trying to find the best fit for the situation. I try to buy time to think by looping sometimes, I try to trust my instincts and rush it sometimes.
I don't always know what's best. Half my brain is still figuring out, and half my brain is trying to apply immediately. It just flows. From my ears to my heart to my mind to my hands and to my ears all over again.
It's not that easy to explain, but I hope I've made it less a mystery.
|
|
|
[13 Dec 2011|06:56pm] |
|
I'm sorry, as a Catholic, I feel it is my obligation to firstly cry over the loss of humanity rather than argue about who was right or wrong.
|
|
|
[09 Aug 2011|10:18am] |
I admit, disconnection is an issue. It always has been. But I am a lot more aware of the reasons why we disconnect than you are.
As I've said once before, it's not about what you do, for there's no single action that is unforgivable. It is and always have been about who you are, what you've done so far until now. The abusers of authority commands no respect. Such a simple truth and yet you've never once noticed it. But everybody's blind to their own faults, so I don't blame you for not knowing. I'm well aware of the nature of human folly and how it often makes it seem like it's not your fault. In a way it is, in a way it isn't.
It's not that we fundamentally reject each other at heart. On the contrary, I honestly wish you would change for the better, but until you do so I cannot even bring myself to view you as an equal, much less a superior. You may think you are higher than me, but I can assure you in the context of this relationship, I am a lot more aware of you than you are of me, it'd do you better to attempt to understand yourself rather than try to understand me.
I grew up to be an extreme judge of character precisely because I grew up tolerating too many offences. I find it hard to honour anyone who doesn't honour themselves. I'm acutely aware of people who can't keep their word, are unreasonable, who lack the ability to consider others before themselves. The voice of your personality -always- shouts louder than the whispers of your actions, and I'm not foolish enough to let a single action dictate your personality either. It must be earned.
I have a deep respect for people with integrity or plain profound warm-hearted generousity. Should you ever want to make me listen, demonstrate yourself worth listening to. I don't hate you. I don't hate anyone as far as I'm aware. I even forgive significantly easier than others. But I cannot forgive what is ongoing and unresolved.
|
|
|
[31 Jul 2011|12:04pm] |
Just counted the number of attempts the environment tried to wake me up whilst staying in bed.
Harsh light, noisy neighbours, sister screaming for maid because she's too lazy to go down, phones, mom barging in, mom turning off air-con so i experience a sudden change in temperature, mom shutting door behind me with windows closed so i suffocate, not to mention get hot from blankets and stuff, brother playing loud music.
9.
No wonder a good night's sleep is so rare.
|
|
|
[28 Jul 2011|12:29pm] |
Yesterday I learnt about the significance of networks, one of the mysteries of life I've never fully figured out.
Specifically, the awareness that networking isn't a general classification that businessmen commonly use, and that networking -alone- gets you no where if you are associating with the wrong clumps. There are many different kinds of networks and the differences matter.
A businessman is exposed to corporate networks, and hence his ideas about technology and popularity are far far different, (I dare say clueless) about the average teenager's concept of technology. The teenager has strong notions of convenience, desirability and immediacy whilst the businessmen have strong ideas of distribution, marketability and future. Those who understand the bridge between the two worlds are naturally more inclined to succeed, but a quick demonstration of yesterday's judging revealed that most of the judges know nuts about what's going on.
And networks of people aren't all that exists. There's also networks of information, information sourcing like wikipedia, google, networks of leisure like youtube, facebook. These are all major sources of interaction in our daily lives, allowing even the introverts to exist in an engaged daily life without fully interacting with a human person.
Where there are networks, there are unique lifestyles contained within. An average person can have multiple identities based on which network that person is engaged in. In school, I am a slacker. At home, I am a parent. On the computer, I am anonymous. In game, I am a hero. In public, I am a stranger. At work, I am a boss. Under a contract, I am subservient.
Understanding the complexity of network is where true powers of communication lie. Whilst I'm sure the average teenager would be able to come up with better ideas on how to shape the future, the average businessmen know far more about how to earn money and how to do it.
|
|
| Pride |
[27 Jul 2011|09:40am] |
Laws that can be broken don't actually exist. They are manifestations of will, an attempt of command, easily formed or withdrawn, valued only in proportion to the respectability of the originator or its justifiability.
I do not care for petty will.
|
|
| Circus of Dreams |
[19 Jul 2011|05:36pm] |
It was your eyes that held me.
From it I could see my worth. That I could tell when I was basking in glory, or forgettable like a grain of sand. Just.. your eyes. Judging, connecting, understanding, relating, silently watching, never truly doing anything... and yet from it I learnt all meaning.
I looked up, and I saw the names of the ones who were seated. And you were there, rooted to your throne, unwavering, still, gazing down upon me. Not everyone was there. Not everyone. And I realised not everyone deserved to. And it made me realise how shallow the relationships of men could be. Nothing measures the value of a person more than their eyes.
When you smiled, the audience smiled with you. When you cried, the room paused in silence. Your eyes were the keys that held worlds together. You were the ones they placed on a pedestal, and I agreed. I hadn't always known, but I knew now. You were the special ones in this world... you were the ones who mattered.
Not the strong, the eloquent, nor the gifted, nor the kind... just the ones who knew the value of what they saw. They held true reign.
All the rest in the room did not matter for that night, until I saw the flashbacks of the great men stepping out of their ring. A lifetime of showmanship, brotherhood, great moments of prestige, and now they would be leaving for a different life elsewhere. They raised their arms to signify victory and completion, but everybody was crying. I couldn't hold back either.
|
|
| Goals - Uses and Misuses |
[06 Jul 2011|02:11am] |
Goals aren't always needed, but in the times in which they are, it's rarely evident. I'm not usually a goal-oriented person by nature, but once in awhile I acknowledge their importance in human lives.
The biggest issue I have had with goals is I've never once realised that I needed them when I needed them the most. As a result, I'm caught in meaningless activity, believing I'm doing something purposeful when in actual fact I'm directing effort nowhere. Goals attribute to clarity, direction and measurable distance from achievement. All of these are factors not to be underestimated in value, as they generally always affect the areas which should matter. At the end of the day, goals help you accomplish tasks that you otherwise would not 'naturally' do. They are the foundations of any personal success.
Goals become increasingly relevant when the task becomes increasingly ambiguous. When the task is straightforward, not necessarily simple, the flow of action is linearly visible and thus that much easier to perform. For example, there is a great deal of difference between doing a hundred pushups and 'becoming stronger'. The simple lack of clarity in the latter adds a significant amount of conceptual weight. That by itself is a huge psychological factor in de-motivation, as it is resistant to easy computing, like digesting rocks thinking it was cotton candy.
Which brings me to another point. We cannot, and should not, jump into an activity with only an expectation of results. A very common failing of businesses and chain of commands. Failure to take the time to understand what are the ways in which a task can fail only allows Murphy's Law to manifest, and as stated before, the more ambiguous the task, the more complex it is likely to be as well, exponentially reducing your chance of 'getting it right'. Like chess, nobody -starts- a game believing they are winning. It is about the play, the current development and the next move. Perfect play -will- get you perfect results, and if you do not have those, why bother 'expecting'?
Back to goals, when to use it? When does it apply? One - you have a poor understanding of your target. Two - you have a poor understanding of your available actions. Three - You have a poor understanding of your natural tendencies. Four - you have no idea how to link all these three together.
Sit back, review, enforce discipline, achieve.
|
|
|
[29 Apr 2011|08:41am] |
I seem to somehow always face the right direction..
When that happens, all I do is walk.
|
|
| Random thoughts whilst walking in the rain |
[15 Apr 2011|06:55pm] |
Does walking in the rain really give you a cold?
I get colds frequently and easily, so even if I fall ill I won't be able to tell.
It also happens to rain fairly frequently in Singapore.. it's a sickly place to some extent.
Why should it matter whether or not I walk in the rain?
Isn't standing under a shower essentially the same thing?
Why is standing under a shower socially acceptable and even positively refreshing but standing in the rain supposedly depressing and causes illness?
What's so bad about the rain?
.. Actually, what's bad about it at all?
Aside from driving, most activities are actually hardly hindered by the rain.
The only thing that stops people from attending an event in the rain, is in all honesty, the perception that the event can't go on because of the rain.
I guess it disturbs vision to an extent.
And the constant pitter pattering drowns out noise.
Is the water from mother nature so much more harmful to us than our artificially processed water?
And if all this is just nonsense, then how did this notion come about?
What inspired the first person to stare at a sick neighbour and go "Aha! It's the rain!"
And what caused the rest who listen in agreement?
Why do animals hide in shelter when it rains?
It seems to be instinctive to do so.
Are we afraid of the rain, or the thunderstorm?
Being struck by lightning would indeed be terrifying, but how much defense do we have against that?
Isn't hiding under a tree the worst place to stand when it's raining in case of lightning?
Doesn't that ironically double as a suitable place to shelter under and keep dry?
...
No one really knows how colds come about right?
That's as far as I'm aware.
That kinda doesn't sound right, given our technological advances in medicine.
The common cold has been around for ages.
I've yet to hear some consistent answers between doctors.
I trust they're not keeping it a secret because it's probably their biggest source of income.
It's just a curious thing to note. I wonder how much the common cold has earned doctors to this date.
.. Weird.
|
|
| Design Diagnosis - Practical Interpretations |
[30 Mar 2011|11:23am] |
It's not difficult to get lost in possibilities when you stare at an unfinished product for too long. This applies to any form of art, creation or expression like music, graphics, advertisements, writing and more. You lose sight of the basics, your objectives and can't figure out how to deliver something more than just mediocrity. But when you have obligations to complete and the efficiency of the job does matter, it's always handy to lay down some clear answers to "What the hell should I be doing right now?"
A designer in relation to the product, is responsible for either/all of these tasks:
1) Contextualise: Setting the expectations of the perceiver
2) Substantiate: Meeting primary expectations of the perceiver
3) Emote: Enforcing an emotion, thought or question in the perceiver
4) Polish: Cleaning up unwanted elements.
5) Emphasise: Strengthen key elements and/or isolating unfocused elements.
6) Customise: Directing key elements towards specific preferences.
7) Sophisticate: Adding detailed characteristics and contrasts to attract attention in secondary areas.
8) Differentiate: Putting independent concepts together to create new interpretational spaces.
Naturally, in order to successfully achieve all these, you will need:
a) Empathy: Ability to predict expectations of perceiver
b) Resource: A collection of materials that can be used in the presented product. Or a means to produce them.
c) Control: Freedom to include, manipulate, combine, isolate, remove material in the presentation.
d) Familiarity: Ability to draw on common understandings and knowledge so as to be understood.
e) Logic: Ability to recognise relationships and understand how they work as well as don't work.
f) Judgement: Ability to look at your own work critically, without bias. If you don't trust yourself, get external views.
Interpretations
"Feels too bare..." - Lack of Texture(7). Lack of Substance(2).
"Wtf is going on?" - Lack of context(1). Unnoticeable objective (5). Out of place (9).
"Unimpressive." - Lack of Exposure (8). Lacking strong executions (3).
"I don't like it." - Lack of Relation (6). Too many mistakes (4). Differing expectations(1)(2).
"Why is this here?" - Too experimental in (8). Not enough context (1).
"Where is it?" - Unmet expectation. (2) Possible lack of emphasis or clarity.(4)(5)
"Tacky." - Lack of Depth (7). Unpolished(4).
"Now that's just horrible." - Might just be you.
|
|
| Shogi |
[28 Mar 2011|10:32pm] |
Shogi is by the far most difficult strategy game I have and probably ever will play. A brief insight into the 13 losses and 0 wins against a mid-level computer has taught me much about the minds of the Japanese and the ways in which they are brought up.
The differences lies in its fundamental driving design which, on surface level, seems a lot like chess and all its other variants. They all make use of square-base positions to represent a warfield, they all have pieces that move with certain restrictions and move in turn. The objective of both of which is also likewise to capture the opponent's king.
However, conventional chess tends to reinforce a rather westernized mentality that success normally lies in the abuse of one's strength, especially when one's power is obvious and reusable. I believe in Western Chess, there is an official term called "Simplification", where a person in power can choose to trade pieces with the weaker opponent, thus magnifying the difference in advantage and reducing the opponent's options of recovery.
This to some extent, relates well enough to real life society, in which the ones who have it all, have it easy. They can afford to lose items, they can afford to take things for granted, they can afford to mock, because of their convenient context. It is difficult, for example, for a pawn to make any difference in a final battle against five other pieces. In chess, as the game unravels, pieces die, stay dead and off the board. The ending games becomes easier and easier as pieces are traded off and the number of things to think about reduces and focuses on a select few.
Shogi however, has no such predictabilities or safe zone. What one calls Simplification in chess, is more like Complication in Shogi. In Shogi, the pieces that are attacked are never actually dead. They are placed in some temporal space for as long as their controller decides and when the time is due, they can instantly reappear in any unfortunate position under its opponent's control, causing a severe threat or possible victory.
This brings about the mindset that one's actions is never enough in the struggle for power and the maintenance of it. The same 40 pieces of the board you've had to manage in the start of the game are the same 40 pieces you have to worry about the very end. And what's worse is that pieces evolve during the progression of the game, making these pieces exponentially complex. They get upgrades in their movement patterns, they can reappear at any given position, even within one's base and immediately attacking, and they can be recaptured and regained, all according to the will of battle. All you need is one one loophole in any single formation, and the opponent has a chance to regain everything with a tiny capture.
My personal experience with chess has led me to feel somewhat cocky about my own abilities and intelligence, but Shogi has greatly humbled me and taught me a newfound respect for the game and its underlying philosophies. That the difficulties in life never truly disappear, that our actions, though sometimes admirable, are never truly enough, and that the constant struggle to own one's space is what our actions should truly be about. Like a piece in the board, we are but one in a greater world of complex relations, respecting even the dead and understanding that misfortune can happen at any single moment in any way. And only in the recognition of these notions do we even begin to master ourselves and realise why we need to do so.
|
|
| Favourited Foods |
[25 Mar 2011|06:24pm] |
[Not really in order]
1. Fresh, Warm, Crusted Bread and butter
2. Cool, Smooth, Delicate Slices of Smoked Salmon
3. Lime Juice
4. Delicate, Warm, Homely Fish or Pork Porridge
5. Mee pok with good flavourful, oniony, chilli balanced coating.
6. Fish Head Curry with loads of vegetables
7. Deep Fried Split Seabass with Black Bean Sauce
8. Half Boiled Eggs with Soy Sauce and Pepper
9. Duck in any form of preparation (except combat rations)
10. Lobster/Crab/Seafood Bisque
Honourable Mentions
1. Flat, crisp corn, like tacos and tortillas with Salsa or any Mexican flavoured stuffing.
2. A creamy-saucy pie with a good stocky dose of vegetables and softened meat
3. Sichuan Sour/Salty Vegetable soup which I have no idea what it's called
4. Bacon Wrapped Crayfish with Mayonnaise
5. Beer-battered Fish and Chips and a Lemony Tartare Sauce
6. Kimchi
7. Tuna Mayo Croissant with lettuce and tomato (onions and cucumbers optional)
8. Cereal and Cold Milk (not the sugar loaded kinds)
9. Laksa
10. Sambal Kangkong
Happy International Glutton Day!!!
... well, it's probably not...
but I just walked all the way to Bukit Timah Shopping Centre in the heat to buy a 50g pack of smoked salmon from the supermarket. And ate it with my bare hands on the way back. One of the weirdest cravings I've ever had.
|
|
|
[25 Mar 2011|08:57am] |
Omg, lousier graphics is a sign of confidence!
Epiphany!
|
|
|
[09 Sep 2010|12:46am] |
|
There's something magical about hearing the words "Peace be with you".
|
|
|
[22 Aug 2010|05:22am] |
Balance.
Everything about happiness relates to balance.
Yet balance is invisible.
No wonder people are upset, feel empty and know not why they falter.
I can tell when I'm out of synch.
Mentally, emotionally, physically, artistically, nutritionally, I know not by any substantial evidence or logic, but just by the elusive 'feeling'.
I fix myself ever so often.
I can't always do so though. Today is one of those days.
I've lost track of what I've been doing.
I seek to restore myself again. Will God be with me?
sleep
|
|
| convo with Jib |
[18 Jun 2010|02:21am] |
also had another game
platform 2d
but you can collect little orbs with symbols in them
each orb turns you into an element
and you can hold up to three at most
so the feather, allows you to become really light
which enables you to jump or even float in mid-air longer... but more susceptible to pushing
the droplet enables you to turn into liquid, to seep through gaps in walls and floors
the straw turns you into a strawman.. and you absorb pins and pierces and stuff without being hurt, also growing bigger at the same time
and there's of course, the usual fire, which allows you to have burst movement, melting and smashing
oh.. the other one missing is the metal, or rock, i haven't decided.. but something heavy and strong
i thought it'd be cool if you have maps that are difficult to pass
and you give the player the option to decide what combi of skills to use to get across it
like
say, i jump really high with feather
then mid-air I turn into a giant rock
and land on an enemy
one hit KO a tough boss
or use the water to evade everybody, then use the fire to kill the ones you can't deal with
if that doesn't work.. maybe you should be using the straw.. since he also can absorb damage
and by the time you reach the boss
you have a lot of mass to kill him easier
maybe there's a stage with a lot of archers
how will the straw fare in this environment? how will the feather survive? maybe the fire will just burn all the grass leading to the archers
or i could just turn into rock and tahan everything
etcetc
|
|
|
[09 Jun 2010|03:28am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 shocked |
] |
My housemates are scary...
They are in the furthest room from the kitchen and they get woken up by people cooking at night. They got up at 3am to complain looking very frustrated and upset, saying how they need to work and really can't sleep.
It's a valid argument...
It's just scary that it affects them that badly.
I'm aware that it's not the first time it's happened. Felix, the other housemate, has a habit of cooking at weird hours, and the complaint has been lodged before. I just happened to be up and helped him cook. But the thing is, there was no chopping.. was just a frying of steak. I don't think we were talking beyond volume either. But now I've just been made to feel like I've just participated in the biggest crime ever.
It's really difficult to phantom.
But oh well... little bits of shudder
|
|
| Tell Me A Story |
[03 Jun 2010|02:59am] |
1. Once upon a [whenever you want] there was [who you want to be but don't know yet].
2. [who you want to be but don't know yet] was going through [personally relevant issues].
3. [something of personally irrelevant nature] happened and affected the [who you want to be] such that the [something of personally irrelevant nature] is now a [personally relevant issue].
4. This puts [who you want to be but don't know yet] in a [where you want to be but not what you want to do] situation.
5. [who you want to be but don't know yet] engages with the [where you want to be but not what you want to do] areas and identifies the various [key figures that define the where you want to be but not what you want to do].
6. meanwhile, [where you want to be but not what you want to do] changes. and the situation now becomes [where you don't really want to be as much anymore].
7. repeat 5 till 7 until happy.
8. finally, [who you want to be but don't know yet] identifies the real and final [key figure that defines where you want to be but not what you want to do], but also discovers a [personally relevant empowerment] in the [personally irrelevant issue]. now [who you want to be but don't know yet] becomes [who you want to be and you know it].
9. [who you want to be and you know it] makes use of the [personally relevant empowerment] and attempts to make [where you don't want to be as much anymore] become a [where you want to be] situation.
10. [who you want to be] [succeeds or fails] due to [surprising, expected or dramatic reason]
11. [whatever ending] forces you to cut ties [where you want to be] due to circumstance. you may jump back to any number for a brief moment.
|
|
| WTF is an Interaction Designer? |
[25 May 2010|07:33pm] |
WTF is an Interaction Designer? - By Daryl Tay
-----------------------------------------------
WTF is an Interaction Designer? It's my course, and I have studied it for more than three and a half years, and till this day I know not WTF it means. Initially I thought it simply meant something to do with graphic designing or program designing, but after awhile they throw in terms like New Media and affordance and iteration, and suddenly that was supposed to make sense. After an even longer while they talk about usability and user-friendliness, and suddenly it looks like interaction designer simply meant the one who has common sense. so i used it that way, and suddenly i'm told what are you talking about? design is such a broad term you got to limit yourself to communicational design, visual design and cognitive design.
... and i'm like, huh?
So I go back to the root of interaction design, i went to find references and journals and books. when i finally found the person who was the father of interaction design, i later found out that even he didn't call it interaction design. he called it goal-oriented design, and the more primitive version was simply software design.
and then i go, double huh?
and so i retrace back the various books which talk about interaction design, and realised it's been confused with human-computer interaction, software engineering, visual communicational design and even user-centred design and human-centred design and goal-oriented design! So now i'm like wtf is going on!?!?!?
and now i hear that interaction design is a set methodology or approach to continually use and apply in possibly all creational systems. which, interestingly enough, is only set of restrictive guidelines that have very little evidence of ever working!
so ladies and gentlemen, i present to you the real results of what my research is, which obviously i can't write in my thesis because i still need to wor under the pretense that this all makes sense. so much for critical thinking, this is more like critical bullshitting.
interaction design, the term, is actually academic mumbo-jumbo bullshit, because theorists have no idea how to bloody make things work. the best they can do is write about things and give them names. the theoretical interaction designers are not psychologists, so they can't know for sure what everybody likes or wants to see, neither are they programmers, so they don't have the power to make appropriate changes.. they are in fact, the worse people in the position to make judgements and decisions in a project and its success.
oh the irony.
the only skills i'm using to make my thesis work all lie outside the field of what i'm taught. that's the only consistent thing i have in line with interaction design. multi-disciplinarity.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.2){kind=small}
lyrad's journal